Month: February 2016

Undone

I am coming undone.
A spool of thread,
Quickly bouncing off the stairs.
Orchards.
Rows of trees with large fruit
Filled my dreams.
I came undone.
Slowly, pulling the zipper down my dress.
There are no hands to come behind me.
There is no weighted vibrato voice
To saunter in from the next room.
I am coming undone.
Still lying on the bed at noon.
Retreating somewhere hidden.
A nook for those who like to get lost on purpose
For those who look at books,
As their only faithful lovers
That will choose them over and over again.
I came undone.
Ate my desperation
Then later purged it in the flower bed.
Do it scared.
Do what scared?
Love comfortably with fear,
As if it waits for me under a street light
Waiting for me,
To joke with the guys back home,
That fear is my mistress.

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Deployed airbags to your heart

Love the people already in your life.

This sounds simple enough. It sounds like something plastered on shiny journals at Target. Come to think of it – it sounds like a quote tucked away in the piles of quotes on Pinterest. A part of me ate these advice blurbs up.  I never chewed them – only swallowed them.
The people in our lives can greatly determine how we see the world. With refocusing lens, we can decide that the world outstretched before us is vast or bleak. Curled up on a school night, I slumped into the chair thinking that love is not what I think it is at all. No, it probably doesn’t have a glossy sheen or a plastic protective case. Instead, it’s made out of raw metals slightly discolored by the torch flame heat. It is as strong as the frame is.

Love the people who see you.

One of the biggest things about becoming an adult is feeling that you must become your authentic self. Okay…so what does that self look like? Is it the fictional person in your head who wins every argument? Is it someone who can catch every knife before it plunges into your heart or your back? I bet we give ourselves a bad rep for not being quite what we thought. As if suddenly, since we are not the mirage of what our younger self dreamt up, we are totally taking it. There’s something about being seen. There’s something raw about looking at someone and for that moment of eye contact, they see you. They see into the contradictions, the attempts, and the importance that molds you.
I don’t know much about “love” and why it makes all of us in our early or late adulthood years mad. But I do know that despite the masks we put on, we must have experienced some kind of love. A love that sits quietly alongside us on a park bench. The sound of leaves racing behind the cars. The sound of fountains gurgling water. Dogs panting. Skateboard wheels rolling on the sidewalk.
The people who loves us are not what we imagined. If anything, they are just as flawed as we are. All of us, walking with tension in our foreheads and shoulders, muttering to ourselves we are not doing enough.

Love the people who still sit beside you without saying a word, and in the silence the two of you have said everything imaginable.
Love the people who make you look inwardly inside yourself, and see that there is so much that you are.
Love the people who hold the world in both of their hands, and ask you how do you want to live. As the two of you, hold the oceans and lands in your heart – remember how much love can be an evolution.

For those who blush first,

One day you will find me,
Tucked away in the flowers.
I will be caught in sing-song melody,
Awaiting,
If I can just ‘be’.
One day you will pass me by,
Like a blurry dream.
In the air I will fly
Like a kite in the meadows.

One day you will find me,
Arms full of groceries,
And smiling at the people I see.
I’ll walk alongside my memories.
One day you will find me,
Growing as a hybrid stem.
With my dreams like saplings.

**to be revised later